For a while now... For a great deal of my adulthood... I haven't been able to remember my dreams. I'm sure I had them, of course, but I just couldn't remember a thing upon a waking up, or even later in the day. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I'd remember a few hazy details, but they weren't very interesting. After hearing about my friend's ayahausca experience, I decided to start logging my dreams, this should imply also that I forced myself to have them more frequently, as a means to access more of my subconscious thinking (it's really very easy, you just tell yourself to and it happens... I know that's oversimplified, but before you go to bed you sort of make a mental note to remember them, then it becomes a habit just like the contrary became a habit- the power of intention!). So that happened.... Now my problem is twofold:
1) I can't stop dreaming! I'm having like 2-3 dreams a night and remembering all of them, and the worst part is they're keeping me in bed for too long. I had this nice 8 am wake up routine going and now I find myself kept by the dreaming until 10-10:30 am. They're so strong I choose not to wake up; maybe I'm unconsciously choosing to stay with them so I can keep this recording thing up, or maybe this is my new "normal". Sleep patterns seem to be very much influenced by rhythm and habit. Also, when I do end up writing them...
2) They're wack! I have the worst dreams ever. When friends tell me theirs they're full of moments where one can't breathe, crazy sex, eerie environments, and mine are like- about amusement parks, conversations, dry cleaning, and if I get lucky- like the other day, a tropical forest with scary animals. That dream only happened because I had rum before going to bed and watched the first half of Tarkovsky's Stalker. Maybe I should drink more before bed... Just kidding. Terrible idea.
One positive thing, though, is that the logging has made me aware of patterns. For example, I've dreamed about amusement park situations three times since January 22. This reason is satisfactory enough for me to continue recording the dreams. I just need to learn how to control the waking up part more efficiently.
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- I'm an LA transplant now living in Manhattan. I used to take too many camera phone photos despite never having purchased an additional memory card. That was the main form of photo evidence for my "haciendo" and "viendo" until Kristen, an LA based friend I share the having of a knife tattoo behind my ear with, gave me her old Fujifilm camera, which has since DIED. Kristen is now removing her knife tattoo from behind her ear, while mine is still in tact, for better or for worse. The camera died on my first day in Lisbon. The last image it captured was a collection of traditional blue & white ceramic wares displayed in a storefront window. Whatever I was trying to photograph afterwards wasn't worth it. I write and produce film projects, have a dangerous predilection for vintage Robinson Golluber scarves and this blog serves as a window to everything else I do when I'm not satisfying those first two passions. I'm trying to blog more and tweet less @annabelleqv. What about you?
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